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Saturday night, KPO Cafe Bar at Killiney Road. It was a stage Lim Huimin had stood on countless times before – her husband with the guitar on her left, her bassist on her right.
But tonight, as the singer’s voice rose above the hum of the crowd, it also rose above pain. Hitting high note after high note, her bald head shone brightly in the spotlight.
“Three bald heads,” Lim laughed, referring not to their band name – it’s Uber Duber – but their shorn heads.
This was 2024. Lim was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer.
Diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer the year before at the age of 37, Lim had a double mastectomy – both her breasts were removed and reconstructed – followed by chemotherapy.
At first, she wore a wig. Then, she switched to a beanie. Later, she decided to just embrace her baldness.
“The mentality is, if you feel sick, you look sick. If you don’t, then it just becomes a fashion statement. Nobody will come up to you and say, ‘Hey, you having cancer, is it?’” she quipped.
“Actually, my neighbour once asked me, ‘When you were bald, were you doing Hair for Hope?’ I replied that I’m the hope,” Lim added with a laugh.
Lim does not want to dwell on the needles or pain. Instead, through laughter and tears, she tells me about her love for music, her son’s graduation from kindergarten, intense food cravings and carefree night drives.
Lim recalls a cancer journey with many happy moments – performing with her husband in their band, taking her son for ski lessons, and going on night drives. (Photo: Lim Huimin)
“A TIME BOMB WENT OFF”
The 39-year-old recalls the raw emotions she felt at her eldest son’s kindergarten graduation in November 2023.
Days before, she felt a muscle cramp in her chest. Because she has a family history of breast cancer – her mother and aunt had it, and her grandmother died from it – Lim had been going for yearly checkups since her 20s.
Comprehensive breast scans showed a 2cm lump in her right breast, and a 6mm lump in her left. Her last check-up in December 2022 had revealed a ‘white spot’ – calcium deposits – on her right breast. However, a biopsy did not detect any cancer cells at that point.
This latest biopsy was scheduled for after her son’s graduation.
“Other parents were crying because they were proud of their children. But my emotions were crazy. There was a lot of uncertainty. What if it’s really cancer? My son’s going to be in Primary 1 next year,” she said through tears.
Lim at her son’s kindergarten graduation in 2023. (Photo: Lim Huimin)
Two days later, the biopsy revealed she had cancer in both breasts. After living in the shadow of the disease for so long, “it was like a time bomb went off”, she said.
“My thoughts were not, ‘why me’, but rather, ‘why now’,” recalled Lim.
Lim had live performances for Uber Duber coming up. She was also a choir conductor at Queensway Secondary School, Naval Base Primary School, Naval Base Secondary School, Clementi Primary School and NUS High School of Mathematics and Science.
She had conducted the National Day Parade (NDP) school choir that year and was due to do it again the next year, in 2024.
Lim was also doing her Master of Arts in Music Education, specialising in choir conducting, from Centro Escolar University in the Philippines, and was close to graduating. “It happened at the peak of everything,” she said.
SINGING THROUGH HER PAIN
Within a week, Lim went for a double mastectomy and breast reconstruction. She tested positive for BRCA2, a gene mutation associated with an increased risk of breast and ovarian cancer.
Two days before Christmas Eve, a further test revealed she needed chemotherapy. “I told my husband this is the worst Christmas ever,” Lim recalled.
An only child in a single-parent family, music had long been her refuge, Lim told CNA Women. She sang through the tensions at home and the stresses of school.
During the darkest days of her cancer journey, she turned to music as well.
So while Lim could no longer conduct the NDP school choir for 2024 or prepare her choirs to compete at the Singapore Youth Festival (SYF) and had to postpone completing her master’s degree, she decided to carry on with her live performances.
On Christmas Eve, she performed with her band at One Punggol – even though her wounds from the operation a month before were still raw and she could not fully lift up her arms. A week after, on New Year’s Eve, she sang at Tampines Hub, as well as the now-defunct The Rock Bar at Resorts World Sentosa.
In January 2024, Lim started the new year with 12 cycles of chemotherapy. Returning home from her first session, she fainted in the toilet and was found by her helper.
“I had total weakness in my body. I couldn’t walk by myself, not even to the toilet. I watched Netflix but could not remember what I watched,” she recalled.
“My family was incredible. My father-in-law sent me to the hospital and back, my helper accompanied me to my chemotherapy sessions, and my husband took over many household responsibilities,” says Lim. (Photo: Lim Huimin)
What hit her harder was losing her voice. “I felt very defeated because this is my identity. I’m a singer and I could not sing. I could not even talk for a few days after my chemotherapy session,” she said.
Fortunately, 10 days later, her voice returned.
This pattern of voice loss repeated itself across her first four cycles, each lasting for 21 days. Each time, on the 12th day, when she regained her voice, she would perform at KPO Cafe Bar. It was her therapy.
“After each session, I’d feel very light and super energetic, and would go for a walk with my husband, sometimes to the supermarket,” she recalled.
Lim indulged her food cravings during chemotherapy, including kimchi, salted fish, durian, and bingsu on days when the ulcers on her tongue and throat were particularly painful. (Photo: Lim Huimin)
Chemotherapy brought on intense food cravings, from Korean food after her first round to very salty and sour food after her second. “Worse than my pregnancy,” she laughed.
Her mother-in-law accompanied her to satisfy her food cravings, and her husband, who is a cyber engineer, took her on night drives and walks. The family grew closer.
As Lim started feeling better, she would pop into the NDP recording studio to check on her choirs and also helped to prep another choir for the SYF.
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT CANCER
Being diagnosed with cancer can be terrifying but these fears can be managed, said Dr Peter Ang, senior consultant medical oncologist at OncoCare Cancer Centre.
“Understanding the risks, options and next steps help one manage those fears. These include regular follow‑ups, maintaining healthy lifestyle choices and having psychosocial support,” he said.
Myth: Once you have cancer, life as you knew it comes to a halt
Because many believe that stress causes cancer, some patients may drastically cut back on activities they view as stress-inducing. But Dr Ang said stress has not been directly proven to cause cancer although chronic stress can have other indirect effects on health and treatment outcomes, which patients should discuss with their doctor.
It helps to re-evaluate schedules, priorities and life goals to manage stress and ensure enough rest but it’s not necessary to drop work, caregiving and socialising.
In fact, for many patients, continuing with activities and being rooted in social roles may provide an important emotional anchor for their cancer journey, he said.
Myth: I should avoid exercise
In most cases, light exercise such as short walks or stationary cycling help to maintain fitness, support circulation, reduce fatigue, improve mood and cope with the side effects of treatment, said Dr Ang.
Patients should discuss with their oncologist how much and what exercise to do. For example, those undergoing chemotherapy may go through periods of fatigue followed by recovery during each cycle, so oncologists can recommend how to allow enough recovery time before exercising.
However, patients should stop exercising if they experience chest pain, dizziness or shortness of breath, Dr Ang added.
Myth: Sugar feeds cancer, so I must cut it out completely
Like all cells, cancer cells need energy to grow and multiply, which they get from glucose and other sources.
Will cutting out dietary glucose stop its growth? Dr Ang says that’s a myth. “No clinical trial has shown that this shrinks tumour cells or improves survival,” he said.
“Moreover, it is impossible to eliminate glucose from the diet completely as it provides the primary energy source for cells, particularly the brain.
“So it is not possible to starve cancer cells without affecting normal cells. Ultimately, this weakens the patient without meaningfully slowing the cancer,” he explained.
However, post-menopausal women are advised to avoid excessive weight gain as this is associated with a higher risk of breast cancer. Studies show that weight gain of more than 5-10 kg, or 5-10 per cent of body weight after menopause, sustained over years can increase breast cancer risk.
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LIVING THROUGH CANCER
In May 2024, Lim completed her chemotherapy and subsequent scans showed no signs of cancer. But a year later, doctors discovered the cancer had spread to a small spot on her rib cage, putting her cancer at Stage 4.
“That hit me really hard,” she confessed. “I wondered if I’m going to die. Is this going to be my last Mother’s Day?” she said.
Afraid she would leave her husband and two young sons, aged six and eight, behind, Lim put together a box for each of them, containing 150 photos of the tender moments they’d shared, with handwritten messages behind each photo.
A memory box Lim made for her husband when she found out her cancer had spread. (Photo: Lim Huimin)
Fortunately, after radiotherapy and targeted therapy, her scans show no signs of cancer.
Lim will continue on long-term targeted therapy and follow-up scans every four months. Although the medicine causes side effects like tongue, gum and throat ulcers, she is determined not to let cancer derail her life.
Every Friday night, she performs with Uber Duber at Timber+ Hillview, and on Saturday nights, at KPO Cafe Bar, singing English and Chinese pop songs.
Although she has since reduced her choir workload, she is working with a secondary school to form a pop band for high-risk kids and keep them out of harm’s way. She also hopes to complete her master’s degree by next year.
“When I’m with my choir or on stage, I don’t feel like I’m sick. I don’t feel like my problem is actually a big problem. Making music takes me away from all my worries,” she said.
Lim took up indoor snowboarding recently. (Photo: Lim Huimin)
Lim also wants her children to enjoy their childhood and extra-curricular activities fully. “I don’t want them to feel like they are robbed of their childhood because Mummy is sick,” she said.
During her cancer journey, her older son discovered skiing, and she takes him to classes. She began learning snowboarding herself. Lim and her husband also took their youngest son to Melbourne in 2024 without his older brother, for some quality bonding time.
“I don’t want to think of myself as sick, as a patient. I still want to live my life,” she said.
CNA Women is a section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you have women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg.
