Why are some women in Singapore embracing digital love and virtual boyfriends in this popular mobile game?

Across Singapore, a curious phenomenon is unfolding: Young women in their twenties and thirties are getting “hitched” to virtual male characters in a mobile game. In Love And Deepspace, players step into the role of customisable female protagonists, navigating romantic storylines and action-packed combat sequences – all set against a futuristic fantasy landscape.

One particularly intriguing feature? The game includes a built-in period tracker, allowing players to log real-life menstruation dates, set reminders, and receive supportive messages from their in-game “boyfriends” or “husbands”.

Love And Deepspace is a 3D otome game developed by Chinese company Paper Games. Otome games are narrative-driven romance games that typically target a female audience.

Since launching in January 2024, the game has amassed around six million monthly active users, including a few thousand in Singapore, according to players CNA Women spoke to.

Some of these spend thousands on in-game purchases, while others go as far as renting digital billboards at 313@Somerset or hosting themed celebrations at cafes for their favourite characters.

To be clear, the game’s five romanceable, not to mention attractive, male leads – Caleb, Rafayel, Sylus, Xavier, and Zayne – aren’t AI-powered but rather digital avatars. Their interactions are scripted, with pre-programmed dialogue trees that respond to player choices, creating a sense of immersion within structured storylines.

Think of it as a digital age Choose Your Own Adventure-meets-1980s romance novel – with a blend of emotional depth and interactivity rarely seen in mobile games.

For player Dawn, who declined to give her full name, these characters evoke the “book husband” phenomenon in China, where female novelists craft idealised male protagonists who provide their readers with a deeply satisfying romantic and emotional experience.  

“We don’t see these characters as our romantic interests, but at the same time, they do satisfy some elements of what we want from a romantic relationship,” said the 29-year-old market developer.

Said Jeanice Cheong, a clinical psychologist at Heartscape Psychology: “Parasocial relationships developed in games can provide players with a sense of companionship and social connectedness. It can potentially foster their sense of autonomy as well as boost their sense of adequacy, self-confidence and esteem.”

Indeed, while the assumption is that players play for the opportunity to romance the male leads, the reality is that they are drawn to the characters for more than just romance.

The characters demonstrate acceptance, understanding and respect for the players, providing them with emotional support and ultimately, a confidence boost that might be lacking in their real-world relationships.

This became apparent after CNA Women spoke to nine players between their early twenties and early thirties. All are single, with the exception of Natasha Conceicao, 28, a content creator who is engaged in real life but who "wed" her in-game paramour, Sylus.

"He is the character who understands me, anticipates my needs, and is able to take charge and plan things," Natasha explained. “In real life, I take charge of everything. [In the game], I just need to show up.”

That she "married" Sylus before marrying her fiance Erwin Chong, 30, isn’t a big deal for the couple. “Erwin doesn’t really care because he knows that it’s not real. It’s a small joke to us, we don’t take it seriously.”

Psychologist Ooi Sze Jin, founder of counselling practice A Kind Place, said: “Parasocial relationships… may lead to unrealistic expectations in real-world relationships, such as anticipating partners to embody the idealised traits of game characters [which] could result in dissatisfaction.”

This is something that Chong is all too aware of. “It’s somewhat similar – though maybe a harsh comparison – to pornography, where some people develop unrealistic expectations and start comparing their partners to what they see on screen,” he said. “If players begin measuring real relationships against their in-game experiences, friction can arise.”

IF YOU LIKE IT, PUT A RING ON IT

While nothing in the game explicitly refers to marriage in the conventional sense, couple rings automatically become available to players when they hit an affinity level of 100 and above, the highest tier possible. Affinity levels are awarded based on the amount of time spent interacting with the male leads, and rings can be exchanged with more than one lead.

Because of the association that rings have with marriage, players tend to refer to their chosen lead(s) as their “husband(s)”. This was the case with Nikki T (not her real name). The public relations executive “tied the knot” in January and celebrated by uploading photos of herself and Sylus in romantic poses to her Instagram. 

Nikki, who referred to the occasion as a “milestone memory”, acknowledged that it’s a fantasy. “I know the difference between reality and fiction, but there are people who can’t differentiate between the two. And that’s dangerous,” the 30-year-old said.

When the lines are blurred, problems can surface. Said marriage counsellor Theresa Pong, founding director of The Relationship Room: “Unlike virtual interactions, real-life relationships involve uncertainty and emotional risk. To form deep bonds, one must learn to embrace vulnerability and take chances.”

Michelle Goh, owner of dating agency CompleteMe, noted that the game’s instant gratification could be a drawback – constantly receiving quick responses and immediate outcomes in-game may lead younger players to develop impatience in real-world dating.

“In reality, building meaningful relationships takes time, effort and resilience. Players may find it challenging to apply the same level of patience in developing real-world romantic connections, where gratification is not always immediate.”

"THE CHARACTERS RESPECT WOMEN"

For Nikki, the period tracking feature introduced in January was a welcome addition. It mainly logs cycle dates, but she appreciates the thoughtful touch of receiving caring messages from the characters when she’s on her period.

Jen Lau, a university student in her early twenties, feels that such features help to destigmatise taboos. “There’s a lot of negative connotation about periods, like it’s something embarrassing, and maybe we shouldn’t talk about it. But the game tells you that it’s not something to be embarrassed about.”

Lau added: “The characters respect women. They don’t try to make you something that you’re not or try to fit society’s standards.”  

Another player, Koriy, who declined to give her full name, agreed. “In reality, when you interact with different people, they often have certain expectations of you… if someone sees you as a helpful person, for example, you may feel pressured to always be that way.

The 29-year-old studio photographer added that in real life, she is herself 80 per cent of the time, and puts up a front the rest of it. “But in the game, I can be myself. No matter what choices I make, the characters will still love me. They won’t judge or tell me I’m wrong – they’ll simply reassure me that it’s okay,” she said.

The power of virtual relationships cannot be underestimated, as they can be a source of emotional support, connection and validation. Said marriage counsellor Pong: “These relationships can offer comfort and a sense of belonging. They provide a safe space to explore emotions without fear of rejection. Players may feel less lonely and find it easier to express their feelings.”

For master’s student Hitomi, who declined to give her full name, the game helped her build her self-efficacy and confidence, giving her the courage to interact more with men.

“Before playing, I didn’t have that kind of confidence,” she told CNA Women. Now, Hitomi has no qualms approaching the opposite sex to strike up a conversation.

IT'S HIS PARTY, AND WE'LL SPLURGE IF WE WANT TO

The game’s popularity has led to enthusiastic fandoms, who are known to splurge on digital billboards and birthday parties for their favourite characters.

Yuka, who declined to give her full name, is a 28-year-old business analyst who manages the Instagram account @deepspacebb_and_me. She was the first to start an interest group for fans to dedicate billboards to their idols.

The group pays for billboard ads at 313@Somerset, forking out S$1,300 for a 10-second video that loops and runs for a week during the idols’ “birthdays”. When the video runs, it gives fans lots of photo opportunities.

“The community is the biggest reason why I’m still in the game,” said Yuka, who started playing in January 2024. “There are a lot of nice fans out there, and all of us are equally invested in this game. I think it’s fun to make new friends through this hobby.”

Kinship is also what brought members of the SG Deepspace Hunter Association together. The group, which organises birthday parties for the game’s characters, has more than 1,000 followers on its Instagram page @deepspacehunter_sg, including Hazu, a civil servant in her mid-twenties, and Yvonne Sng, a human resource executive in her early thirties.

Hazu, who declined to give her full name, said these are just like real birthday parties, with catered food, birthday cakes and general merrymaking. But there are also photo booths and guest cosplayers, who dress like the characters and interact with fans.

THE JOURNEY TO SELF-WORTH

The majority of players said the game hasn’t really affected how they feel about affairs of the heart. It has, however, made them more aware of their own self-worth.

“Maybe it’s because I’m slightly older and have experienced quite a bit in life, but I don’t feel that the game has significantly influenced my real-life views on love, marriage, or relationships,” said Yvonne, who recently broke up with her boyfriend. “That’s not to say it couldn’t – but for me, it hasn’t.

“That said, do I sometimes experience romantic feelings while playing the game? Yes, occasionally. After all, it’s an otome game designed for that purpose.

“But how deeply those feelings take root is another matter. At the end of the day, it’s a game I enjoy. I love the features and the experience of being the main character interacting with different male characters, but that’s where I draw the line,” she added.

Said Hazu: “Society tends to assume that if we’re too involved in online dating games, we won’t be able to accept real relationships with men. The game helps us understand our worth in a relationship and shows us how we want to be treated and respected.”

But as virtual reality and AI technology advances and games like Love and Deepspace become more realistic and convincing, psychologists caution that reality and fantasy could overlap.

“If the person and the game character have more back-and-forth ‘natural conversations’, the player feels immersed. They might believe that these relationships are real and struggle with distinguishing between reality and virtual relationships,” says Ooi from The Counselling Place.

Balance is key. “Use these games for enjoyment, self-reflection or to destress “but ensure they do not replace real-life interactions,” Pong said.