Menopause hit hard on my holiday – how I managed night sweats and anxiety when my body wouldn’t cooperate

I recently enjoyed a long holiday in Ireland and England and had an amazing time catching up with my in-laws and friends, as well as visiting several beautiful sights. However, it was also the most restless trip I’ve ever been on. The reason? Perimenopause.

Before leaving for this holiday, the one concern I had was that I urinate more often these days – a common menopause symptom. Sometimes, the urge to pee is so overwhelming, it’s hard to wait (thank you, weakened pelvic floor muscles). So I was conscious about the need to plot routes and check for toilet stops if we embarked on any long walks or drives.

However, I wasn’t prepared for the overall physical and mental discomfort I encountered on this trip.

Across five-and-a-half weeks in May and June, I spent most nights unable to sleep because of night sweats. I also experienced bouts of anxiety – a perimenopause symptom that still shocks me today because I’ve always been a very calm person who seldom worries.

COMFORTABLE DAYS, RESTLESS NIGHTS 

Ireland is known for its grey, rainy weather. It’s not unusual to see people dressed in coats all year round and, as a frequent visitor – this was my sixth time there – I know to always pack a waterproof, thick jacket regardless of the time of year.

However, for the first three weeks of our trip, we happily basked in an Irish ‘heatwave’ (yes, seriously), with daytime temperatures between 18°C and 21°C. My body appreciated what I consider perfect, sunny weather in the day, but struggled to cope at night, even when the temperature dipped during the later part of our trip.

On previous visits to Ireland, I slept in long-sleeved pyjamas – sometimes even flannel ones – when staying at my in-laws’ or friends’ houses. In hotel rooms, where you are more in control of the temperature because of air-conditioning, I sometimes only needed short-sleeved pyjamas.

I packed a set of each for this trip but never used my long-sleeved pyjamas. In fact, I wished I had packed shorts.

Even in my short-sleeved pyjamas, I woke up most nights in a sweaty mess, feeling uncomfortably hot especially in the neck and chest areas. I often didn’t use a duvet but was still hot.

On the rare nights when I didn’t manage to push the duvet off me, I was constantly reaching my foot out from under the duvet to find a cold spot, even while half-asleep. Anything to ease the heat emanating from my body.

Our last visit to Ireland was in May 2023, when we encountered similar weather, and I didn’t have these issues. The only thing I could do to soothe these night sweats was not use a duvet and roll up my pyjama pants for the possibility of some cool air on my legs.

Even when we made a side trip to England – which was slightly warmer than Ireland – the restless nights followed me. The six days we spent here were filled with activity, with little time for extra rest, so it was important to get a good night’s sleep. However, restful sleep eluded me. 

THE ROAD TO ANXIETY

The lack of proper sleep meant I never felt fully rested. But, thankfully, that was my only physical discomfort. Mentally, however, anxiety ruled my brain. There was the ever-present fear of not knowing where the toilets were. I was also incredibly anxious about driving.

We sometimes rent a car while on holiday in Ireland, to explore smaller towns and villages. My husband doesn’t drive so it’s me who does the driving. This has never been an issue as the Irish drive on the same side of the road as we do in Singapore and they have an extensive network of roads and highways that are well signposted.

This anxiety about driving began over a year ago but this was the first time it was tested while on holiday. It’s not about getting lost, I’m generally nervous now about being in an accident.

As if I wasn’t anxious enough already, what compounded my anxiety was the fact that the tiny car we had reserved online from the car hire company wasn’t available when we went to pick it up. Instead, the salesman offered us an SUV. I wish I had a mirror at that point because I’m sure the blood drained from my face.

I have never driven an SUV. I’m also short and find these high cars extremely intimidating. You want me to drive this on roads I’m not super familiar with? No, thank you. The salesman was baffled that I refused a “free upgrade”.

We ended up with a sedan which was easier to drive but the anxiety didn’t leave me. It all worked out well in the end but I’m sure there were a few Irish drivers during that period who wondered why this woman was driving so slowly on the highway.

If only we had ‘menopausal woman on board’ signs we could put on rear windows so drivers would be more patient with us.

HOW TO THRIVE ON HOLIDAY DURING MENOPAUSE

Dr June Tan Sheren, consultant family physician at Tucker Medical, suggested packing layers so you can take them off when a hot flush hits.

Also, dehydration can worsen hot flushes and night sweats so make sure you drink lots of water. Plus, limit alcohol in the evenings.

“If you enjoy a glass of wine, by all means, but always have two glasses of water to accompany that one glass,” she said. “This is so the water dilutes the amount and speed of absorption of the alcohol.

“Alcohol alone can worsen night sweats because it causes vasodilation – it opens up all the blood vessels, which means a lot more heat is being released,” she added.

Dr Sheren recommended bringing a portable fan to clip by the bedside table. And, when travelling to a hot place, make sure your accommodation has air-conditioning.

Good nutrition and adequate hydration also help with anxiety. If you’re anxious about driving, Dr Sheren advised to plan your trip in advance so you’re not just looking at Google maps the whole time, trying to figure out your route. And know that, if you’ve missed an exit, there is a way of guiding you back, so don’t stress.

You can also try box breathing, named because a box has four sides – four counts of breathing in, four counts of holding your breath, four counts of exhaling and four more counts of holding after your exhale.  

Dr Natalie Games, clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling, proposed packing things that make you feel comfortable and confident. This could be a hand fan, light pyjamas, loose layers, ear plugs and maybe some herbal tea that calms your nerves at night.

Your mental preparation could start even before you board the plane as menopausal anxiety often strikes before the trip even starts, said Dr Games. This is when you need to visualise success: Spend five minutes imagining yourself calm and capable – packing, arriving, enjoying the trip.

You could also support your emotional wellbeing to reduce mood swings and anxiety by creating room in your itinerary for downtime.

“Practise self-care – journalling, mindfulness or quiet walks – and stay connected with supportive people, even if it’s just a text check-in,” said Dr Games. “If you need to skip a late dinner or take a midday nap, do it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.”

Dr Games told CNA Women that, whether you’re in perimenopause or post-menopause, the goal is to support your body, mind and mood so you can enjoy the trip fully – without powering through discomfort or anxiety.

“Menopause is a time of redefinition; so when you travel, you’re not just packing clothes – you’re bringing a changing self along for the ride,” she explained. “Travel can be a wonderful place to explore that – not just new landscapes, but new parts of yourself.”

Just because I had several uncomfortable moments doesn’t mean I didn’t have an enjoyable holiday. I was anxious and more sleepy than on any other trip but it also taught me that I need to prepare myself for a new chapter in life. With little adjustments, I’m confident that the next time I travel will be more pleasant.

Also, as it turned out, I was worried about the wrong thing because, you know what? I never had an issue needing to pee urgently.